Erin Mast - The World Race 2007

WAITING ON HIM

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Do you ever wonder what God is doing? Do you ever think that you have all the answers and then He doesn't move on what you thought? Do you ever scream and yell at Him to do it in your timing?

These are questions that have been rolling over and over in my mind. I have asked God over and over again what He is doing. I have started a debt/mortgage reduction business that I fully believe in, yet He hasn't broken it open. I have waited on Him and screamed out to Him for the answers. I have truly been David ever since I have been back from The World Race.

What I laugh about most; is that every circumstance in our lives is answered prayer. I have cried out to become more like Jesus, I have screamed for David's heart, I have asked for it all and now it comes.

Why do I pray the prayers that I do knowing that it will bring fire? Some days I have no clue why, I just know that it is in my heart. Some believe that we are in the end times; some have said Jesus will come back in 5-50 years, some hundreds of years. Yes I do yearn for His return but I also want to rest in the moment of now.

The prayers that I have prayed require me to go through the fire. What will I do with billions of dollars if entrusted to me right now if I don't know what it means to have nothing? What will I do if I become a preacher across the United States/world if I don't understand humility, will pride take over? What will I do if I actually get what I pray?

I believe God grants us our prayers and we resent Him for it. I believe that we get everything we ever wanted yet we feel like it is a curse or that we did something wrong. Being refined in the fire tells who a person really is. Character is not defined when you are on top of the mountain, it is defined when you are in the valley.

As Erin and I continually go through a refining season, we humbly ask that you think of us. I have prayed big prayers and have warred in the heavenlies and need the assistance of prayer. My family will always go for everything in Jesus and will never settle for a mediocre life. We were created for so much more and will fight to the end for freedom. If it is on your heart to lift us up prayerfully or financially this Holiday season we greatly appreciate your support.

Erin and I are so blessed to have people in our lives that love us and believe in us. We only want Jesus and what He has planned for us. May Jesus fill your lives with joy and cover you in His amazing grace.

God Bless.

Mr. & Mrs. Chad & Erin Mast

Mon, 4 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

So here we are, Colorado Springs Colorado. The Lord has taken us through an amazing journey of ups and downs with an open future off in the distance. We sit amongst the 14,000 foot mountains revering God for his Creation.

Our journey began with a radical 11 month journey around the world as friends and then through a 7 month amazing, challenging and life breathing engagement with a wedding set for the 5^th of July. Normal temperatures in Indiana at that time were 98 degrees with nearly 100% humidity, with thunder storms a normal occurrence.

The day of the wedding was 77 degrees with nearly no humidity. There wasn't a cloud in the sky; perfect. I was an emotional mess from the get go because this was the most important day of my life- covenant with the woman of my dreams.

My groomsman lined up behind me, as tears began to roll from my face. Erin's song, "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" played by the string quartet, as I saw a glitter of a white dress coming my way. My heart began to pound as I saw the vision that God had given me months prior, Erin walking through archways in her beautiful white dress.

Although Erin was about 50 yards away from me, our eyes connected as though this was the first time that I saw her. She walked closer and closer as I came down to meet her and assume headship as her father gave her to me. Tears rolled off my face knowing what a pearl of great price I was getting and what a life I was about to begin.

Andrew Shearman started by saying that by totaling the combined faithful, monogamous years of marriage from Erin's parents, my parents, my grandmother who was in attendance, Andrew and Pastor Ron Johnson Sr., the blessing in covenantal marriage totaled over 250 years. My heart rejoiced as he said that because I gladly received that blessing over us and our children and our children's children. It was a generational blessing.

The ceremony was amazing and filled with the love of the Holy Spirit. We partook in communion together, lit unity candles, worshiped our Lord and shared our vows to each other. It is a day that we will forever remember.

After the pronunciation of man and wife, the party began. We danced the night away, cried, laughed and rejoiced over the speeches and the dances.

The end of the reception was amazing. 120 people lined the exit of the castle as they lit 120 sparklers. Erin and I ran out into the amazement of lights with smiles from ear to ear. We heard laughter, and joy and shouting and celebration and at the end awaited our limo to take us to downtown Chicago. The sensation from going from 120 screaming people to complete silence with your new bride is something that I can't explain.

We then headed off to our honeymoon in the Caribbean on the island of Saint Martin. My father and mother so generously provided us with their ten day time share in complete paradise. We enjoyed the sunny beaches, sunsets every night and a much needed rest before we started our new life.

So here we are, Colorado Springs, beginning our life together, not as two separate people but as one, willing and ready for anything the Father has for us.

Our new address is. 89 Paloma Heights #204 Colorado Springs, CO 80921.

A ROCKY MOUNTAIN LEAP OF FAITH

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

When a man can look himself in the mirror and believe that God has put dreams within his heart that he cannot do on his own is when I believe God starts to unlock His power. I believe that God has placed dreams within each man and woman that can only take faith to get to. That faith will mean that you have to step out and walk on water; you have to trust that He will hold you. Faith really isn't faith until you can't do it.

Erin and I have dreams within us that we cannot comprehend. We have dreams about millions coming to the cross, sharing Jesus with entire African nations, caring for and feeding millions of orphans and helping to lead a generation to cry out for the glory of the Lord to cover the entire earth.

We can't explain these dreams and sometimes get intimidated by the mere thought of them. But why not, why would we not want these things? Why would we allow doubt, financial hurdles or lack of faith to get in our way?

As we take one day at a time we have seen that God wants to bless us. He wants us to embrace the foundation that we need to be able to walk into these dreams that He has placed within our hearts. We have seen this is why we have to embrace the scripture "When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken." Deuteronomy 24:5.

We believe that this first year is so foundational to our success in marriage that we are going to put ourselves in the best possible environment to do so. We both believe that the environment for that success is Colorado Springs.

Recently the Black Family led by Gary Black returned from Swaziland after 14 months. They are a family of eight that endured the struggles of Africa and embraced what God wanted to do through them while being there. Because of there sacrifice as a family and as a couple, thousands are being touched not only in a spiritual sense but in a physical sense. They have opened up the Nsoko project which cares for over three hundred children.

They have returned to the states a changed family, believing in apostolic Family. They believe that the family is a unit and moves together as a unit. They have embraced family and marriage in ways that we have not seen before. We believe that God has given them an anointing for this generation, to embrace, to care for and to pour into. We believe that this is where we want to sit and rest as we see God perform his glorious works in Colorado Springs.

Erin and I are so fortunate for our supporters, family and friends. We are kingdom people who believe as the lords prayer says thy kingdom come thy will be done on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN. We will forever plant kingdom wherever we go and we believe that this is just the beginning.

Please continue to lift Erin and I up as we go through this leap of faith in a new city and completely trusting as the Lord leads. Abraham set out not knowing so this is what we are doing, we are believing that God is in control and His plans are the very best for us.

FATHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia. After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them." Acts 16:6-7

I sat in the living room of my parent's house watching a movie when this scripture came to my mind. I asked the Lord what was going on. I began to feel, in my Spirit, that something was about to change. Erin and I had been talking about our reserves in moving down to Gainesville. I began feel unrest in my spirit and this scripture would not leave my mind.

I woke up the next morning and had an intense day. I knew that something was not right. Our God is a God of peace, and I was anxious about the move. I didn't know what was going on, so I decided to pull back to sit and wait for the Lord.

Two days passed as Erin and I prayed together. One of the main scriptures I was getting was Deuteronomy 24:5 -"When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."

I began seeking counsel as to the best options for Erin and me. It was as though the Lord was opening my eyes. I began to see that I had already done a disservice to my marriage by putting ministry and calling above or next to Erin. I was dreaming of how things would work out in ministry and believed that Erin would just find a way to fit in.

I am not proud of that thought, but I am praising the Lord for opening my eyes to see what I was doing. Many men have decided to push forward in life, believing that their wives should just come along for the ride.

I was wrong. I now see that my calling in life is my wife. I see that when I embrace the scripture and love my wife like Christ loved the Church; Erin has the ability to walk into who she really is.

I was not taking her into consideration as much as I should have with our move to Gainesville. And although the leadership school that is being formed there is amazing, it is not where Erin and I need to be at this moment.

I want to apologize to all of those who were expecting us to be in Gainesville, Georgia. We both love you all and are walking out the Lord's plan for our marriage.

More will come on what will happen next!

Just the beginning...

Mon, 5 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I remember sitting across from Chad in November 2007 (at the end of our Race) and panicking as he shared his vision with me of getting married quickly, buying a bus, and touring the States with 6-8 other post- World Racers to share the vision of the Race. I can't exactly say I was lovestruck at that momentin fact my response was quite the opposite- I cried.

What it comes down to is that if you don't know at the end of spending 11 extreme months living in close proximity to another person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with them- then chances are you aren't going to know.

Chad and I knew. We knew before we shared our hearts with one another. We knew before he bought the ring and before I said yes. How? It's just one of those things that the Holy Spirit hammers home until there's no shadow of a doubt that He is the master planner completing his work.

Now I had never in my wildest dreams planned that I would meet the man I had dreamed about in the way that I did. It was unheard of and not what I had signed up for when I joined the race. Honestly. I had no intentions of traveling around the world for a year to find a husband. In fact if that had been the selling feature of the race, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gone purely due to the fact that I wasn't interested in hunting down a good catch.

I believe that I actually tried to throw Chad back a few times. I tried to talk myself out of having feelings for him. I tried finding impossible differences. I tried pushing his buttons to irritate some distance between us. Miraculously, nothing worked.

We came out on this end thinking we'd seen the worst of our lives together. Naively, I see how we were mistaken. Currently I sit, enjoying the easy life. A reliable car with gas- parked in the garage, a consistent job with steady paycheck, comfortable bed, hot shower, popcorn and 800 channels at my disposal. I'm not so sure I want to go back to living out of a backpack, moving every 3-4 weeks, eating rice, rice, and boney chicken for lunch and dinner every day, and experiencing more community than I have patience for.

While I type this, my fianc is unnervingly praying crazy, radical prayers. He's a madman. I kid not. While I sit and try to rationally think about the decisions we are making and the plans we have to set for our future, he is jamming to Misty Edwards, in tears before the Lord, asking for a great move of God in this generation. How did we end up together?

I can't help but think this is sheer madness. We're polar opposites. When I'm not pulling back on him, he's pushing forward on me. We're either going to find a decent rope to hold us together or completely tear one another apart.

And praise God! How could I ask for anything less? Beyond all the safety and security of this life, there's a dulling of the places in my heart that once burned to see people experience the love of Jesus.There are entire countries of unreached people that have yet to feel a touch that will bring healing or a word that will spark life. And how would I ever get unstuck from the security of all my safety guards without faith from a man who hasn't promised me all the answers in life. And what makes me think that having all the answers is what I need?

GEORGIA BOUND

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Blessings to all my family, friends and supporters:

Well Erin and I are soon entering into our sacred covenantal marriage together on July 5th and are ready to begin the plunge further into missions. Here is a little taste of where the Lord is leading us.

We feel that the Lord has opened up an opportunity to be a part of something so much greater than ourselves in Gainesville, Georgia. Our vision is one of many that are birthing from the World Race.

Just to give you a taste of The World Race, it is actually a three year discipleship program for those who choose to go beyond the 11 months trip. We train the racers 6 months prior to the trip, they venture off into the world on a Luke 10 journey for 11 months, and then have the opportunity to attend a post- race leadership school.

Erin and I have been asked if we would be part of laying the ground work for our first leadership school in the States. This Leadership school will host between 30-60 seasoned missionaries who want to continue forward as a radical disciples of Jesus Christ.

Our focus is to live as community down in Gainesville Georgia. Erin and I will live alone for the first year of our marriage, but we will be highly involved in everyone's lives. There will be community life, Mentoring, Skill development, local ministry and travel incorporated throughout the leadership school.

We are so excited about this opportunity because we are a part of something that is so much greater than ourselves. We have a chance to birth something that is vision right now and see the Lord birth it into exactly what He desires.

Erin and I are walking in faith trusting that the Lord will provide for our new walk in life. We have been asked to raise support for our personal needs which are going to total around $24,000. We would ask that you would first pray and ask the Lord if you should be a part of our prayer ministry. Erin and I are firm believers of the WORD and believe that prayer is the answer to everything. We are firm believers that if it is God's will its God's bill. So if the Lord puts it on your heart, we would love for you to partner with us in this new venture that will eventually affect millions.

We appreciate everyone that is a part of our blogs and would love to hear from you. We will continually lift up every prayer request that we receive. There is something amazing going on in this generation and we are so excited to be a part of it.

We Bless you in Jesus Name.

Song of Solomon 2:4

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

In all reality and with my heart completely bare- I've been struggling with finding my place since I've been home. I can't seem to balance what I know my heart longs for with what I know I have to do for a season.

Song of Solomon 2:4 "His banner over me is love."

When the Lord calls my name- how loudly does he have to speak? Is it a shout? Or a whisper? If he calls me to his side, will I go? Will I sit right next to Him?

Why can't I believe that he has called me to his side? He wants to whisper his love to me, as I sit- right beside him- and allow his banner of love to cover me.

Out of this intimacy springs a relationship so unmatched in depth and commitment that the world cannot help but stop to see. Confidence is found in that intimacy and in knowing how great the love the Father lavished on me.

Surrender leads to deeper levels of trust, and trust leads to fulfillment of the promise. The pieces of life seem to fit together. The passions of my heart meet the gifts of my Father. Together the two go forth into the world- into the nations- and meet the needs of the lost, dying; hurting

...and now I know the place I belong. Now I know where I am called and where I fit in this life. Right here. Right beside the One who calls my name and sings his love over me. Right under his arm. So here I will stay and waithere I will learn trust...

Find His banner and let it rest over you.

CROWN POINT NEWS

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

C.P. resident's eyes opened by

11-month world travels

BY MARISA KWIATKOWSKI
mkwiatkowski@nwitimes.com
219.662.5333 Tuesday, January 29, 2008 6 comment(s)

CROWN POINT For 22 years, Erin McKenna said she lived in the region with her eyes closed.

It took 11 months and 12 countries for the 23-year-old Crown Point resident's eyes to open to a world beyond her middle-class American upbringing.

McKenna called the rigorous trip "a personal wake-up call."

"You see starvation, you see rape, things that will slap you in the face," she said. "You learn to silence yourself, your desire and sense of entitlement."

McKenna said she joined nearly 50 other people from across the United States to travel most of 2007 in The World Race, a mission-based trip dedicated to personal and spiritual growth, and outreach.

During her travels, McKenna said she fed the poor, worked with local churches and orphanages, taught English and brought prostitutes out of the sex trade in Thailand.

She said it was six months before she broke down emotionally.

"I struggled a lot," McKenna said. "It's heart wrenching. You can go play with (orphans), feed them, then you send them back."

She said she lived off $7 a day in some of the world's poorest countries. They traveled to Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Peru, Swaziland, Thailand, Cambodia, China and others.

McKenna returned to Crown Point in November and said she will continue her mission work.

"When you see what I see and know what I know, you can't go back," she said. "The little faces burned in my heart need someone to fight for them."

McKenna said she will not fight alone.

During the World Race, she met her now-fiance Chad Mast, 28, of San Diego.

Mast was a team leader for The World Race and said he and McKenna developed a friendship during the trip that evolved into more when they got home. They were engaged at Christmas.

Final Blog

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I suppose this could be my final blog, but I know that's not true- the race isn't over yet! It is however my last blog for several weeks. In a few days, my team will be leaving Hong Kong to enter into China. Due to the nature of China's attitude towards Christianity and to protect our local contacts and their established ministry, we will not be accessing any information through the internet, including blogs and email.

Please continue to lift us up in prayer, as we are entering into heavy spiritual darkness and facing new ministry in a country that is closed to evangelism in every form we've practiced the past 10 months. Pray against fear and criticism and pray greater faith over us. I am very excited at the opportunities we will have in the next few weeks and I believe that the Lord's hand will lead us and protect us.

We are preparing for ministry that makes my heart come alive. My soul aches for the redemption of the sons and daughters of God. I long to see the fulfillment of every promise He has made. I will continue to hold Him to His word because I have tasted and seen His goodness and faithfulness, and now my soul longs for more. I wasn't created to settle for less. I know inherently- in the center of my being- that there must be more. And in my broken state I stand in faith and believe Him for my full inheritance- nothing less.

On a random final note... these are pictures from our last days in Cambodia!

Laughter

Wed, 3 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." Psalm 126:2

Here are some pictures from an orphanage we visited last week! I can't help it- I love kids!

I should've been a teacher...

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I should've been a teacher. There's no doubt in my mind that I would have enjoyed it immensely. In the past two weeks of teaching English to Cambodian young adults, I have found myself growing in respect for educators. Teaching is a literal pouring out of yourself into another person. It's empowering. I love taking my small understanding of adverbs and simple past tense verbs and putting that together in sentences and breaking it down so my students can understand. And I love when they ask questions. Sometimes I can see the wheels turning in their heads when the pieces start to fit together. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

Last week our class discussion took an interesting turn. At the end of class as we worked on an exercise in the textbook, we were to conduct a survey of our entire class asking the question: "Will the future of the next generation be better or worse than today?" I gave the class a few minutes to think about the future of their country and the hope of the next generation. Much to my surprise as I polled the class, every single person believed that the next generation of Cambodians will experience a better future than they currently have.

I was so impressed by the faith of this class. That they didn't look out at the street littered with trash or the neighboring buildings that appeared ready to collapse without notice. They refused to focus the visible. There was an unseen hope that they all believed in- more than they believed in the things they could see.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

I took advantage of this spark in their hearts and began teaching on this verse. Class ended and picked up the next day with a Bible teaching on men of faith (Hebrews 11) who believed God- more than they believed circumstances, more than they believed what they could see and more than they believed themselves.

I've discovered something that I love doing. I love speaking life to others, and watching as they come alive with the realization that someone believes in them and believes in their dream. My challenge to my students was to believe that the Lord has even bigger dreams for us than we have for ourselves and in the surrender of our dreams to Him, He gives back more than we can ask or imagine.

My challenge to you dream big, you might just get it ALL!

Witholding Nothing

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Its funny how sometimes we wander through life, really wondering if the things we do and encounter happen according to any preplanned design or if we just happen to stumble from one thing to the next- never really knowing if our seemingly insignificant lives matter to the rest of the world. I know that I often feel like I'm just meandering through.... play with orphans in Africa, plant a church in Peru, make jewelry with former prostitutes in Thailand, teach English to Cambodians this is life.

As strange as it may seem, I don't often see the results or realize the impact of our ministry immediately. In fact, I don't believe that I fully even realize that the ministry we began at the beginning of the year isn't complete yet. Seeds that were planted at the beginning of the year are still growing and being harvested.

My team is currently working with New Life Fellowship in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. This church has several ministries to meet the needs of the Khmer people. My team has divided by interest to meet the needs of the different ministries. I jumped into English classes and was quickly given a text book and class to co-teach with Chris Telfer.

We have enjoyed passing the lesson back and forth, having fun with our students and being challenged with questions like What's the difference between timber and column?' and What does tortilla mean?' We laugh;)

Thursday morning I was asked to fill in at an earlier class, and I wasn't exactly sure what I would be teaching, but I figured I could talk about different greetings around the world or some culture differences between the States and Cambodia. When I arrived, the head of the department explained that 9:30 to 10:30 is Bible teaching time and asked what I was teaching on I froze.

**Time OUT- Let me explain something that may be surprising, I haven't done any preaching or teaching on the World Race. In the past 8 months of ministry, I've never given a testimony, preached a sermon, taught a class I've successfully hidden behind more dominant and, in my opinion, more gifted teammates. For me, teaching English is not a big deal, teaching Bible is an enormous mountain that I generally opt out of climbing.

Honestly, I've always been much more comfortable with taking a supporting role when it comes to preaching/ teaching/ speaking to large groups. It's interesting to see how the Lord has taken me through a process of brokenness, refinement, and dependency before he brought me full circle to share the truth of His word with this class of Cambodians. He has ripped fear from me and in its place I've found LIFE. Time IN**

I was searching my brain for a Bible story I could share with the class and despite my desperate attempts to grasp something- I came up with nothingnot even Noah or Moses or Jonahnothing. I was about in panic mode when the teacher told me I would start in five minutes. I quickly took off for our apartment in search of my Bible, which I had conveniently left on the coffee table. As I was running out the door, I shouted to Jenny that I needed a story to teach on and my mind was completely worthless. I really needed the Holy Spirit. As I slammed the door, I heard her yell Abraham and Isaac.'

Long story short, I ran back to class to find approximately 75 Cambodian young adults waiting for me. Sweaty and out of breath, I tried to calm myself down and form some sort of logical thought process before I launched into the story of Abraham's obedience in withholding nothing from His Lord, not even the thing most dear to him- his son Isaac.

I know that this story is not mere coincidence of times and places. And I know that the Lord is always doing something greater than my eyes are fully able to see and my mind is fully able to wrap around. It's these things that I praise him for. And it's a greater faith that I long for. I still want MORE! I still want it ALL!

Just One Moment

Thu, 6 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Crossing the Cambodia border yesterday was yet another paradox that I remain unable to explain in words. Do you ever have those moments in life where you wish you could just freeze the frame you're in and stop to sit and experience the fullness of the moment? It's bitter and sweet.

I remember the morning I walked across a stage and received a piece of paper that shows the world that I spent three years of my life devoted to developing my mind and cultivating an understanding of my passions and how I can use them to make the world a better place. After three years of studying, those few hours of graduation didn't seem to be long enough to revel in the final outcome. It's a short, but sweet memory.

The bitter moments are more difficult to articulate and it's often more difficult to desire to remain in these moment. It's a natural human instinct to avoid pain and discomfort. We harden our hearts to the injustices of the world and push away from people or things that upset our balance of safety and stability. It's so easy to watch commercials about saving starving kids on the other side of the world and flick the channel while doubting the truth or reality of the images until you stand in the middle of the street and stare down into the child's face and realize that reality is reality and sometimes reality sucks.

I'm not a bitter pessimist in any way, in fact it's more likely that I'm a free- riding optimist who sees the brokenness of the world and truly believes that things can be changed. I don't want to constantly appeal to solely the emotional argument that can be derived from the message that seems to be consistent through these blogs, but I still can't seem to miss the Father's heart when I see His children hurting. And yes, it happened again I've glimpsed in at His heart

Our team was a mess of confusion and we were trying to speed through the border crossing process as efficiently as we possibly could. Things generally aren't the way we think they should be. We pushed our way through the Thailand side and made our way to the lines to enter Cambodiasomewhere in the short distance between borders; I lost part of my heart to a bunch of dirty, smelly kids. As we walked, I slowly watched the things in my hands disappear, until I was left with tears rolling down my cheeks and a roll of toilet paper in my hand.

It's funny that I'm still surprised when I feel something different beating inside of me. I used to hate the vulnerability that was exposed when I fell apart in the middle of just living everyday life.' I used to hate the shame that was associated with my inability to be a strong' woman and deal with the things that we see. Now I truly understand that the world doesn't see enough tears. We don't see true brokenness because too many of us are led to believe that brokenness demonstrates weakness and weakness is bad.

I want to glory in my weakness. I've seen His strength; it's better than mine.

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. By the word of the Lord were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him." Psalm 33:4-8

SHE

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Well, we've been working in Phuket, Thailand for the past three weeks and I've been pretty lax in keeping up with my blogs. We've partnered with a ministry here, called SHE (Self Help and Empowerment) that works with women and children who are at risk. The ministry is just starting to take off and there are four girls that have left their jobs in the bars to work with Mark and Sharon Biddell making jewelry and cards. The Lord is moving in this place.

We spend our free time with the girls, attempting to make jewelry and cards and laughing with them. They are reminders of why this ministry is so important.

We witnessed Thailand's Mother's Day and watched the girls stop for a moment to sit around Sharon and bless her with flowers and tears. I sat on the outside, looking in with awe at how awesome our Lord is. Sharon has been working with the girls for months-entering their worlds, giving love- unconditionally, and offering them a new life in exchange for the old. The girls thanked Sharon for loving them and honored her as their spiritual mother. It was one of the simplest ways that I've seen the Lord glorified through one woman's devotion to Him and through her heart to see things change in this world.

Sometimes it's so easy to lose sight of the vision and purpose the Lord has for us in each place that we travel to. It seems like we jump into a ministry and move on before we even realize where we are. Coming alongside people like Mark and Sharon and watching them live discipleship serves as a fabulous reminder of what the church is called to.

Living discipleship isn't always easy. It sometimes requires getting messy and doing things that don't necessarily make sense. But as the body of Christ, it's time that we started doing things that look like Jesus, but don't necessarily make sense. It may require moving outside of the four walls that make our services safe. The doors of the church might need to be ripped from the threshold and taken out to the street where the drunk and prostitute are wallowing in sin, crying out to be rescued. They aren't aware, but their hearts are searching for something more there must be something better something more they haven't found it in the bars or the lust because the church hasn't moved outside of the safety of the building to actually live the gospel like Jesus did. He loved people, exactly where they were exactly as He found them. And He wasn't ashamed to associate with them in their mess. He was in every way human like us, but he lived in such a way that defied the standards of this world. It's time church

Donzi Videos

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Three weeks ago, while we were finishing up our time in Dondo, Mozambique, I opened up an email from my friend Cassie Morgan. She was finishing up her time in Swaziland, Africa and was about to head back to the States. She shared what the Lord had been doing in her heart and how he had broke her for a little orphan girl named Donzula.

It just so happened that my team was going to be in Swaziland in a few days and, although I would not be able to see her, she invited me to share a piece of the Lord's heart with her. In the email she explained she had found this little girl who needed Love. She had been caring for little Donzula for a while now and, now that she was leaving, she wanted me find this little orphan and care for her. Something in me was touched and I was determined to find her.

See the rest of this article on Chris's blog

Donzi

Donzi and Erin

Donzi - The Encounter

Donzi Part 4

How did this happen?

Mon, 6 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

How did this happen? When I signed up for the race, I signed up for a year- now I can't imagine going back to the life I once loved and desired. I no longer want to be the same. I don't value the same things. When did this happen?

I want to love people. I want to spend myself loving people. I really have been wrecked. And somehow I'm not afraid I'm really not afraid that my life may never look the way that I thought it would look. Because I know there's MORE! I'm not disappointed with the freedom that comes from allowing the Lord to truly reign in my heart.

I'm afraid that I'm not afraid. I don't think I really know what I've gotten myself into, what I'm willing to give my life away for. Why is this so ok for me? It feels so right. So normal, but I know that it's not normal.I know that I was not raised with this mindset. I went to college, earned a degree, and was ready to jump on the fast track to the nice life. I shouldn't be ok with giving it all away.

I'm just beginning to realize that my thought processes aren't normal. I'm not afraid of dying for what I believe is right. I'm not afraid of fighting for justice and righteousness to rise up in the nations.

I don't understand myself. Is this a crisis of faithbecause I don't feel like this is a bad thing, but I also don't feel like I understand that ramifications of the way that I'm thinking. A paradigm shift? Is that what is happening?My entire worldview, everything I've learned from my family, everything that had at one point been significantly valuable Am I forsaking all for the truth that I've heard preached from a pulpit all of my life, but now have discovered in a very real waywhile holding a dirty, smelly, adorably baby girl in my arms and feeling love pour over me in a way that makes my skin tingle?

Jesus, are you real like this?

How did I miss this for so long?

Lord, you're doing something greater in me than I can even understand. You've taken my heart and gently wiped the slime and sludge out so that you can fill it with more of your heart and love for the world. I'm looking down at my chest right now and I don't recognize my own heart.

This new heart you've given me is different.kind of smushy. When it gets poked by sensitive issues- like children being orphaned or neglected or raped- the smushy, juicy inside starts welling up in my eyes and comes out looking like tears.

But I know these tears aren't the normal kind that I cry. These tears feel different. They feel sweet as they roll down my cheeks and even though I'm angered by the things that I'm seeing and hearing, my face doesn't twist or contort with pain. The tears just roll down my r elaxed cheeks, ruining my perfectly applied mascara and streaking through the layers of self I used to hide behind. And within an instant I'm not hiding anymore. My heart is o n my sleeve and the world knows that I don't have it all together. I can't figure this all out, Daddy. I'm not sure what you are doing. When did this happen?

I am torn from a country that I truly love and now continue on in Bangkok, Thailand where the sex trade industry is the 3rd largest in the World.

Time to Say Goodbye

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:00:00 GMT

As I sit on the balcony of the White House' where we've been living for the past two months, reality sinks in we're leaving. In a matter of days, this familiar place will only be a memory. In spite of everything the Lord has been showing us about the intensity of the ministry we will be walking into in Thailand, I still seem to be struggling with the thought of leaving everything that has been so close to my heart here in Swaziland- specifically, Donzi.

This morning, I watched my team load into vans and start the trek back to South Africa, which will inevitably end our stay in Africa as we board a plane to Thailand in less than a week. I will meet up with them tomorrow along with three other race teams. But today I had much more important things to take care of. Today, I had the heart breaking task of saying goodbye to my sweet little girl.

In no way, shape, or form was I interested in saying goodbye. In fact, the thought of leaving the race and staying in Swaziland sounded so much more appealing than leaving this precious girl that I have started calling my own. I squirm in my pray time over the idea of walking away from a ministry that has, in all reality, stolen my heart.

I still stand amazed at how perfectly the Lord works His plan and how carefully He aligns our hearts with His, so that His greater will can be accomplished. We started our search for Donzi at the request of my team leader's, Chris Telfer, friend Cassie. For the past two months we've spent time ministering to her entire family and tomorrow when I leave, I have the confidence that the Black family will continue to check in on my little girl.

This morning Emily and Alexis Black drove out to Donzi's home with me to meet Donzi and her family. As any overprotective mother will do, I spent much of my morning praying that my baby is protected and taken care of when I can't be around her. More than anything I wanted Alexis and Emily to feel what I've experienced from the Lord for this little girl and her family.

It was only a few minutes into our visit when I felt the peace of God surround me and reassure me that everything is in the Lord's hands and He is faithful to protect and guard those things that are most precious to me and even more so to Him. I glanced over at Donzi, only to see that she had crawled up into Alexis's arms and was letting out some of her sweetest giggles.

My heart rests in the peace that only my Father can give. I know that He is good, just, and faithful. And I couldn't be more thankful that He has given me the tiniest glimpse of His heart for all of His sweet little girls. I know that the fruit of this ministry seems small- just one baby girl... but when I look at Christ and how He spent His life for one, I can't think of a better man to imitate. I still want MORE.I still want it ALL. It's only the beginning.

I love you so much!

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 00:00:00 GMT

In the past two weeks my heart has fallen in love with a little girl named Donzula. I don't know how the Lord set my team up to find her in a country full of orphans. I do know that the Lord has taken precise measures to be certain that her story and mine are intricately woven together in a way that maximizes His glory and reminds me that He is concerned with every detail of my life- no matter how great or how small.

This precious girl has completely stolen my heart. I spent several days in tears before the Lord, unable to understand why he would allow my heart to break so much for this little girl and not allow me to take her home with me. I was like a kid begging her daddy for a puppy. It hurt me to think that when I left her that she might not be held and loved. That she might not know safety I was torn.

So desperately I wanted something to change, and not just my prayers. I wanted to physically see the needs of this little girl met. I wanted to meet them. I wanted heaven to be torn in the same way that my heart was- even more so. In order that the complete measure of the fullness of Christ would be released over this girl and over this country.

I'm ready for my Christianity to become more than just noble intentions and hopes of changing the world. I want more than just a broken heart for the lost, the orphan, and the widow. I'm understanding at a deeper level what it means to hate evil. To hate how sin has distorted this world and how things truly aren't as they should be. I desire so strongly to see the Lord restore that which has been marred by the ugliness of sin.

Yesterday my heart found peace. Running up to Donzi's house, my sweet little girl came flying at me and wrapped her arms around my neck as I swung her into my arms. She smiled shyly as she whispered to me- I love you so much!' We went back in forth in an I love you so much!' battle, and this time my tears spilled over in joy.

She doesn't speak much English. She doesn't understand the prayers I pray over her while we spin in the fields worshipping the Lord, until we can't walk straight. She won't know how deeply my heart longs to see her rise up and change this nation. She can't understand how much her smile has taught me or how much it means to me when she puts her head on my shoulder and rests with me. I can't understand how much more the Father's heart loves her and longs for her. My heart loves her so much!

One child. One Savior. Only grace, changing everything.

When Brokenness Changes Your World

Tue, 3 Jul 2007 00:00:00 GMT

As I slowly washed the dirt off of my feet, I sat reflecting on the events of the day, wondering how some days I wake up knowing that something great is on the verge of being birthed and other days I wake up oblivious to the Father whispering to me His desire to work through me.

While there are distinct times when I wish I could completely avoid the feeling of caked on dirt that comes with this ministry, I wouldn't trade the marks that have been made in my heart for this country and for these children. Without fail, I have found that in the midst of my brokenness and inability to perform the Lord shows up and demonstrates His super abounding greatness. I stand in complete amazement at how mighty He is and how faithful He is to accomplish all that He desires. All He asks of me is a broken spirit and a contrite heart.

Donzula is an orphan. For the past week my team has been strategizing ways to locate this little girl who was found' by an AIM missionary on a previous trip to Swazi. In an honest reflection, I struggled with the idea of searching out one orphan girl in a country full of orphans. Give me any child and I'll love them, but why devote so much time to finding this one little girl? Surely we could serve the Lord in so many more effective ways than driving around randomly asking people if they'd ever heard of Donzula.

We walked up to her house and watched, as if we were part of a movie, as a little boy took off running to bring back this little girl that we'd been searching for. As she approached in the distance, I wondered if it truly was her... soon enough the smile spread across her face reassured us that she was, in all reality, the same girl we had seen in so many pictures.

Chris Telfer stooped down to look her in the eyes and she shyly backed away, but as he reached out to pick her up, she willingly accepted his embrace. Looking at her, I wondered what thoughts were occurring in her young mind. Within moments, Telfer passed this little person to me and she comfortably buried her head in my shoulder. Without knowing how or why, I felt my heart melt. The words to Natalie Grant's Held, played through my mind This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from the life that you survive. This is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.'

My mind couldn't wrap around what was happening in my chestthe injustice of the situation was too great. I couldn't manage asking whyI only know what is and that it isn't the way it was meant to be. Tears slowly crept down my cheeks, mingling with the dirt and leaving streaks of pure love on my face.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

I know that my Father's heart cries for this one little girl to know how much He loves her. I know that He moved heaven and earth to be certain that she could stand in a field with me today and throw her arms out in the wind and twirl in circles before the Lord, praising Himbecause He is worthy of all worshipabove all circumstance, above all hurt, above all loss of hopeabove anything created, He is worthy.

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety- nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety- nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." Matthew 18: 10-14

I once was lost, and He left every other sheep he owned- all of them- to find me. All He wanted was meHe sought me out. When there were millions of other sheep crying for His care, He came and found me. He traded His life for mine. I finally get it. He wanted me in the same way that my heart wants this one little African orphan. As I sat holding her, the tiredness of my arms was outweighed by the ache in my heart. I didn't want to let go. How could I let go? The importance of the message in my heart for this one little girl had to be imparted to her. Does she know how valuable she is? Does she know how wanted she is?

I don't understand it. I don't know how He does it. Time and time again I offer my hands and heart and He takes them just as they are and puts the love of heaven in me. I don't understand how in one moment I can be so caught up in the most insignificant details surrounding my own life and in an instant my heart is completely broken as I hold this one girl in my arms and realize that in that moment, nothing else matters in the world- Nothing. There isn't anything more important to my Father than the one little girl I hold in my arms. He loves her. He infinitely loves her, so much so that he sent a team of crazy, radical Americans to seek her out of all the orphans in Swaziland and to love her. He takes that which is most precious to Him- one of His children- and drops her into my arms and trusts me to show her exactly how He feels in His heart when He looks at her.

I have great pics that I can't get to upload, I'll try again next time. Check out Chris' blog for a few pics of this sweet girl.

More Pictures

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I'm working on consistency with my blogs and I know that pictures are the best. Because internet uploading times can be so slow, I'm linking you to the blogs of some of my 'extended family'. Hope these blogs give you a glimpse into what life looks like here!

Mallorie has some great perspective on life on the race...

Jake put together a slideshow of pics from Mozambique...

Lessons in Love

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Yesterday I sat alone before my Father, desperately needing to hear His voice. In all the madness, He found me- gently broken, tired of crying, but not ready to give up. He held me, wiped the tears, and led me back to the cross- in its shadow I rest. Peace and joy overwhelm me.

"The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

Deuteronomy 1:30-31

I didn't arrive in the middle of Swaziland on accident. I sometimes don't understand what I'm doing here or how the Lord is moving- ministry doesn't always take on the forms that we'd like it to. But none of what he has planned is in vain. Every smile, every laugh, and every arm reached out- he uses.

He uses us in our brokenness and in our strength. He uses our laughter and our tears. Through the desert seasons, he plants the promise of rain in our hearts- so firmly that we can almost taste its sweetness. The rain is coming. Swaziland will taste it. In spite of the dryness, I will continue to stand amazed at a God so great that he knows each of His children by name and moves heaven to hear their cries. For now, I'll teach his babies how to dance in the dust and in the rain.

So much, so fast...

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 00:00:00 GMT

It seems that since we arrived in Africa, time has quickly evaporated from my life. I can't seem to figure out how we were in Mozambique loving orphans one day and the next we whirled into debrief in Swaziland with 27 new Racers and a total of 77 people living in one house! These past two weeks certainly have been crazy- processing the first half of the year and planning out the next 5 months. I can't believe we've passed the half way point.

My team, the media team, has spent some time recasting vision and planning how to make our ministry more effective in the next few months. To kick things off we did a quick intro videoit explains things better

And since we had such limited and SLOW internet connections while in Mozambique, we weren't able to upload the videos. Check them out at www.youtube.com/theworldrace!

Please continue to pray for our team, we're heading out into a more rural area for the next week to love orphans and possibly teach in a school.

No Words

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 00:00:00 GMT

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor heights nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

Changing Everything

Thu, 31 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

I can honestly say that in the past two weeks my eyes have seen the miraculous power of the Lord and my sometimes doubting heart can no longer question the ability of the Lord to move in mysterious ways. Blind eyes have physically been opened to light. Deaf ears have been unplugged. Calloused feet have danced at the realization that all pain is gone. The hungry have received food and the lost have been led into the kingdom. The Lord has done great things. He is a GREAT God.

His greatness isn't contingent what He does for me or through me and all that He is reaches far beyond the physical, tangible manifestations of His glory. I praise Him because He is worthy and that is enough.

Once again, layers of my hardened heart have been peeled away at the realization of His love for His children. More than once, I found myself gazing down into the eyes of a child... hungry for more than just food. I've tickled and patted backs; I've rocked and whispered prayers over sleeping babies, toddlers, and full grown children. When it seemed there was nothing left to give, I found my arms still reaching out to give more.

Stepping back to watch the Lord move during outreach events was often difficult for me. I would have a baby in my arms, child on my lap, and several others latched onto my waist and feet with no idea how I could detach all of these children from me in order to engage in ministry'. The Lord continually showed me how important the ministry of love was and I often found myself broken to tears for the small faces that surrounded me.

At times on this trip, I've looked down into the bucket of dirty laundry that I'm attempting to wash and mutter to the Lord that I was not made for this' (hand- washing clothes). Wondering if I wasn't made to be a washing machine, what was I made for the reality of what I was truly made for has become more than an idealistic theology in these two weeks of ministry in Mozambique.

I was made to love. And I was made to be loved. The truth of Christ's love has been so real to me. I can think of no greater calling in life than to turn and personify that love to a hungry world. Love through the heart aches and joyslove that changes everything.

Childlike Faith

Mon, 21 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Matthew 18:1-5

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them.

"And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

I don't know her name. I don't know how old she is or what she dreams about. I'm not sure if she fights with her brothers and sisters I don't know if she has brothers or sisters.

I don't know if her parents have told her about a man named Jesus. I don't know if she would recognize a "good Christian" if she met one. I don't think the term "Christian" would mean anything to her if she did.

I do know that pulling up to her remote village in the middle of Mozambique filled my heart with a burden to pray more for those that the world has forsaken.

Watching the team unload a truck filled with 120 lb. sacks of food, I sat back wondering how my life could be so sheltered from the need that was slapping me in the face.

Crouching down to her level, I looked into her heavy eyes and wondered if it were possible for her to feel the fullness of the love that I have for her in my heart. She couldn't be more than 3 years old, but her face bore the worry lines of a 60 year old woman.

I stretched out my arms and lifted her into my lap. Within minutes her heavy eyelids slid shut as she rested in my arms.

As her dusty feet dangled in the breeze, the Lord spoke softly to my heart

It matters little if you build great buildings to worship me in. You can debate your theology and try to figure your life out.

You can achieve great success in the eyes of man, but it means little if you can't reach out to love those that mean the most to me.

I allowed a few stray tears to fall down on this sweet child who rested with me and in that moment I felt a piece of my Father's heart. Will I ever grasp how much my Father loves me? Will I ever comprehend the love that He has for others? Will I ever realize that His love is being manifested through me?

"A father is delighted when his little one, leaving off her toys and friends, runs to him and climbs into his arms. As he holds his little one close to him, he cares little whether the child is looking around, her attention flitting from one thing to another, or just settling down to sleep.

"Essentially, the child is choosing to be with her father, confident of the love, the care, the security that is hers in those arms. Our prayer is much like that. We settle down in our Father's arms, in his loving hands.

"Our mind, our thoughts, our imagination may flit about here and there; we may even fall asleep; but essentially we are choosing for this time to remain intimately with our Father, giving ourselves to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us as he will.

"It is very simple prayer. It is prayer that opens us out to all the delights of the kingdom."

-The Ragamuffin Gospel

Hopeless

Tue, 8 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

"He's not the kind you can depend on to do anything rightYou're hopeless, Charlie Brown, completely hopeless"

-A Charlie Brown Christmas

Charlie Brownthe one Peanuts character that I always hoped I would never be likeunpopular, awkward, and completely unable to ever get it right'. Linnus on the other hand- he had it going on. With his trusty blanket, Linnus may have looked young, but his knowledge far surpassed his cartoon years.

While Charlie Brown was labeled worthless by the world, Linnus took a chance on his hopeless friend. He stepped forward, took center stage, dimmed the lights, cleared his throat and spoke the truthLuke 2:8-14The simple truth of a Savior born in the humblest of circumstances, sent by the Father to save a world of hopeless people from their sins.

While Linnus spoke gently, my mouth wants to scream loudly- This IS what life is all about. This is why we exist and have hope and can live for so much MORE! This is it and just like my cartoon friend, I'm not afraid to risk my pride or my name or my life for the truth that reigns so freely in my heart.

Oh, I'm sure the world has looked at me and my attempts at life and muttered the same words. Labeling me hopeless and lost, without a chance of ever getting it right or actually surviving long enough in this world to make any sort of a difference.

But I'm also sure that I have looked at those around me and instead of believing truth for them, I've written them off as hopeless. How often do I give up on someone because I can't see them with the eyes of love and mercy that I know Christ saw me with when he gave his life for mine? How often do I fall short without even realizing it?

But loveLove has defeated my enemy. Love has conquered that in me which I can't even stand the sight of- myself. I'm no longer held captive. I no longer have to struggle for my freedom- it's mine and I can run freely. I can also love freely. I can give away that which was so freely given to me. I stake my life on the reality of this love and can't bear to watch the world live without this marvelous truth. I can't say where my feet will stand eight months from now. I don't know where my heart will long to be or what it will break for. Right now, I am where I am by the grace of God and as I live in the overflow of this grace that has changed my life, I will continue to live- completely alive, sharing truth and light with those who have none. I will change the worldbecause I still want MOREI still want it ALL.

On a side note, in the past two weeks we have traveled through Argentina and London (the pics used in this blog are highlights of our time in each place). We have safely arrived in South Africa and will be leaving at the end of this week for Mozambique (30+ hour bus ride). For the next three weeks we will partner with IRIS ministries working with orphans and assisting with flood relief aid. It is not expected that we will have internet access due to the drastic change in our living conditions. I will try to post updates to my blog as frequently as I can, but please continue to pray for our teams. Pray specifically for safety, health, miracles, and hearts of compassion for myself and my team as we step away from everything that makes life 'comfortable'. I'm ready to see heaven split open! For more info and updates go to www.theworldrace.org!

Where's my damn battle ax?

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 00:00:00 GMT

A generation is being raised up. Out of obscurity the Lord is calling forth those who will forsake everything to live in the shadow of the cross. The journey to this forgotten hiding place is often messy and trying at times, but the fierce at heart won't back down to the taunts of an enemy who fears their very existence. Pressing in is harder than letting go, but the reward of pursuing is much sweeter than the sting of defeat. Entering into the presence of the Most Holy God satisfies our hungry souls.

The Lord has asked many things of us. He doesn't stop because we think we've arrived. He instead drives deep and then deeper. He has been teaching me

When will you let go of your rights? Why can't we lay ourselves down and become nothing? We want everything from the Lord, but why can't we sacrifice our right' to a hot shower, nice bed, etc? Why can't we let go of our right' to be angry, wounded, or offended? Why do we cling to these things? Why can't we leave everything at His feet? Do we not trust Him to take care of and provide for us? Are we not willing to really become nothing so He can become everything? Who gave us these rights'? Even Christ made himself nothing for our sakes. Where is the generation who will lay self down so Christ may become everything? Where are the prayer warriors who will war through the night? Where are the men with the courage to stand for what is right? Who will give anything and sacrifice everything to see the Lord's glory poured out in this world?

We're already here. We've left our lives- we've given everything. Our flesh screams. Our physical bodies have been beaten- but our spirits still cry for more! We must have MORE! Why do we hold back when He's calling us to come in? We are ALIVE, but we act and live like we are still dead! It's time for things to change. I want to see heaven BREAK open- I'm still crying out for ALL of Jesus! I want it! I'll be the alter and the sacrifice- whatever it takes for the fire of God to fall! Whatever it takes- Lord COME! It's not about numbers or churches or denominations.its about Jesus Christ becoming REAL in our hearts and changing us.

When will we throw out our American theology- the way we think things should be done and truly allow the Lord to teach us? We have to be willing to THROW down our crowns at His feet so He truly can reign over our lives. Where's my damn battle ax?

It's time to rise up. The best cream comes to the surface- it raises to the top. Leave whatever is weighing you down at the bottom. The things we become entangled in- old sin, addictions, fears, and insecurities- keep us from living the life of faith and miracles we long for. When our hands are full of trash, we can't lay hold of everything that the Lord has for us. When our empty hands are raised in worship, we let go of what we can see and reach out for what is unseen- the power of Christ. If we could see Him waiting in eager expectation to rend heaven, would we release the things we hold onto? The things that have become so comfortable What does it truly take to live a life of surrender? When do we get so desperate that we give anything? I want everything. I want ALL that he is to be everything that I am.

Trust. Trust Him in all that he is. And release. We've been waiting for a release. A release from the past. A release from the future. A release from our fears, expectations, old selves. A release into Kingdom shaking reality. A release of the wonders of heaven. A release of Jesus Christ in the world. What do we wait for? We can't win the race if we never start running. We can't take the kingdom by force if we aren't willing to get our hands dirty and engage our hearts. A battle cry isn't enough. We have to take arms and charge the enemy. We have to storm the gates of hell and reclaim that which rightfully belongs to our Father! It's time to truly declare FREEDOM! Swing the damn battle ax- it's no good unless you use it! It makes a lousy accessory! It's time to die- to ourselves, to our flesh, to our old nature, and proclaim new life.

I LOVE THIS LIFE!

My First Video

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:00:00 GMT

With some help (THANK YOU ANNE!), I put together my first video. I am so blessed to be able to share life with these amazing warrior princesses who know how to have FUN- as unconventional as that may be!

To My Family

Fri, 6 Apr 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I initially wrote this as an email to my family, but as I read it I realized that the words I share with the people I love the most are words that many of us need to hear. Through family we love, grow, challenge and encourage one another in great kingdom works. I invite you to be part of my family through this blog and be encouraged.

To my family: Being away from home seems to be unusually difficult this month. Not only do I find myself thinking about silly, random things like the soft bath mats that I used to dig my toes into before jumping into a hot shower or the button I used to push to pull my car into the garage in order to escape the rain or the mounds of Laytin's clothes that I used to walk through to get to my bed, but I also miss the things that I never noticed much before I left.

The sound of the coffee maker as it grinds beans every morning, the excitement that rushes into the house when Ryan gets home from work full of stories, the afternoons of picking Dan up from school and belting out David Crowder's Here is Our King as we drive home, the insanity of songs about manatees and dancing in the kitchen because business has been left at the office and home is a place full of joy.

Being away has made me keenly aware of the things in each of your lives that I'm missing out on. I won't see Laytin in her prom dress; I won't help her pack for college. I will miss Dan's first day of high school and an entire season of football games. Tim will take my job for the summer and love it. Ryan will launch into a destiny that will fulfill the dreams he's had since we were kids. My daddy will serve every person that comes into his office and my mom will keep up with all of them.

Reality is in my face. Reminding me of the life I'm not living at home. Reminding me of the things I'm not seeing or being a part of. I could cry or feel condemned. I could regret the decision I made to leave 3 months ago and not return for another 8. But that wouldn't be good enough. I understand the choice I've made. I hate that I can't be everywhere and everything for everyone. But I can't ignore the immensity of the God we serve. And I can't hide from the call I know he's spoken over me. I can't run from the need of the world. I don't regret a decision to give everything to Him and trust only in Him. I can't be ashamed of a life that I pray we will all find. A life of abandon. A life of surrender. A life fully submitted to the Lord.

I pray we never slow down or settle for less, never let up or give in. I pray that the enemy would see the threat that we are to his kingdom and tremble in fear. I pray that we would see the challenge before us and not back down to fear. I pray that we would rise up and come ALIVE. And through the life that shines through our crazy family, the world may see the LOVE of Christ and be drawn more to him.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.' Romans 12:1-2

Why My Mother Taught Me Manners

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

The World Race would be missing something if it weren't for stories like these. Sorry mom!

Two nights ago at dinner we were blessed with some yellow peppers to add some flavor to our meal. Several of the guys love the added punch of the peppers and decided that my stuffy nose would benefit from some pepper infusion.

I know that I wasn't feeling my best because I agreed to try this home remedy. I popped the pepper into my mouth and bit down. It took about two seconds before I realized that my mouth was not created for this particular vegetable. I've never swallowed fire before- I have no intentions of ever swallowing fire- but I'm pretty sure this was as close to having fire in my mouth that I will ever get. It was not funat all.

After chewing lots of bread and swallowing several glasses of juice, everyone was curious to see if the theory rang true. I went to breathe in through my nose and inadvertently sucked back an enormous loogy. Almost in slow motion, I stood up and turned from the bench I was pinned into and spit the contents of my nose out into a pile of weeds.

Before I finished my display of unladylike behavior, my team graciously pointed out to me that the entire kitchen staff, as well as our local contact had their eyes glued on me. As my face turned several shades of red, I slowly melted back down into my seat and prayed that the Lord would make me invisible for a few minutes.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to avoid the laughter that resounded from my team as I humbly accepted the fact that I had provided some unorthodox dinner entertainment. And I learned a very valuable lesson about the things that go into and come out of my mouth "Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man." Matthew 15:11

Fortunately, I'm surrounded by godly women who encourage me to let loose and live!

Well behaved women rarely make history.' Laurel Thatcher Ulrich (love you Jenny!)